Lemon Bar Party

Lemon Bar Party

I’m a junkie. A fiend. I can’t stop, I always want it. I’m partaking now, as I write this column.


Lemon curd. Lemonade.  Lemon coconut balls. Lemon drops. Lemon garlic butter. Lemon cream pie. Lemon sorbet. Lemon bacon grilled cheese. Lemon blueberry muffins. Lemon macarons. Lemon thyme chicken. Lemon bars… seriously, I could keep going.

We’re stopping on lemon bar because Starbucks came out with a new line of frappuccinos this summer. The line up includes: Caramel Cocoa Cluster, Cinnamon Roll, Cotton Candy, Cupcake, Red Velvet Cake and… Lemon Bar.

So obvs… I needed that lemon bar frappuccino. I allocated my calories that day, I prepped my taste buds and I hightailed it to the Starbucks around the corner. I did a little dance in my car while I waited FOREVER for it. (It wasn’t that long, I was just that antsy… and YES I went to the drive-thru.) Finally, he handed it over to me. Cold and creamy. I couldn’t wait to get my lips around that straw. I pulled forward, put it in my mouth and took a pull…

I placed it in my cup holder and didn’t touch it again until I got home. I took a couple more sips then dumped it.

It’s not that it was awful. It was fine. Didn’t taste much like lemon bar. Sure, there was some lemony flavor, but nothing to write home about. It was more of an icy texture than a creamy one. It just wasn’t worth the 350 calories and 13 grams of fat I’d ingest if I kept suckin’.

If I’m going to dedicate my calories to a creamy lemon concoction, it’s gonna be done right. So that’s what I did.

Vanilla bean ice cream, cream cheese, graham cracker and LEMON.

It’s super easy to make and a million times yummier than that $5 ice crystal crap you’re going to get at Starbucks.

Full disclosure, I am a white girl. I order 85 Pumpkin Spice Lattes a season and 185 Peppermint Mochas. I love the ‘bucks. But I just couldn’t let this shit slide.

Lemon Bar Concoction

NEWSFLASH: Lemon Bar Concoction to Outshine Starbucks

Lemon Bar Party
2 tbsp cream cheese
1 lemon, juiced and zested
1 cup vanilla bean ice cream
1 cup lemonade
1 cup ice
2 sheets graham crackers (8 thingies)
whipped cream (for garnish, optional)

Place all ingredients (except whipped cream) in a blender.


Serve… with like, whipped cream if you want. Or a graham cracker. Whatever. It’s damn good, regardless.

Fontina has an Ohio heart and Philly spunk. She loves giving you recipes for hearty food, pop-culture puns and a hell of a lot of craft beer. You can find her in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or marathoning episodes of Shin Chan or Bob's Burgers online.

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