Articles by Fontina Turner

Fontina has an Ohio heart and Philly spunk. She loves giving you recipes for hearty food, pop-culture puns and a hell of a lot of craft beer. You can find her in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or marathoning episodes of Shin Chan or Bob's Burgers online.


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HBD, Mr. Mickey Mouse

My story isn’t special. I think it’s the same across the world. I grew up with Disney. I watched the movies, I connected with the characters, I went to the parks, and it got into my soul. As I grew up, the Disney fever only got hotter. It laid dormant for a little bit, but…

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Fantastic Beasts and How To Eat Them

Two quick things about me. I love Harry Potter. I love Gene Wilder. These are relevant to one another, I promise. Just give me a second. So, when I was a kid, we’re gonna say 4 years old, definitely not a teenager, the first Harry Potter movie came out. I hadn’t read any of the…

Sexist Curry
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Boom King Curry

Oh my god, she’s so hot She’s so flippin’ hot, she’s like a curry I want to tell her how hot she is But she’ll think I’m being sexist She’s so hot, she’s making me sexist If you guys don’t have Boom King stuck in your head for at least a day after reading this,…

Brunchsquatch
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Topless o’ the Mornin’ to You Burger

My first post back was supposed to be a Bojack Horseman recipe. And it’s still coming. I promise. But hiccups are to be expected and I’m getting back on track with a Bob’s Burgers specialty. Last season’s premiere was a blast with several fan-animated scenes of the Belchers turning the restaurant into a top tier…

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Live Stream

Greeting, loyal readers! I am not sure if you noticed or not, but the blog’s hiatus has gotten real. I accepted a new position in my career and it has impacted my free time substantially. Feeling the stress though, I am burning out and realizing the importance of self care. For me, however, that doesn’t…

Chicken for Carrie
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Star Wars: General O’s Chicken

While we are all ecstatic for the release of Star Wars: The Last Jedi this weekend, I can’t help to feel it is a bit bittersweet. Sure, I’m thrilled to be thrust back into the universe that we’ve grown up with, with storylines and characters that are new but also familiar. There’s so much to…

Flank Castle Steak
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The Punisher Pre-Kill Meal

I can’t imagine how much effort it takes to plan a vengeance-filled murder spree and be on point enough not to get taken down yourself. I mean, I get exhausted going to Target. It involves a left turn, you guys. So in my mind, Mr. Frank Castle (Franklin? I like to think it’s Franklin. I…

Welcome to the Upside Down (Cake)
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Stranger Things: Part Two

Editor’s Note: The lovely and talented @lipsticknlager of Twitter and Instagram fame has graced us with a couple of glorious Stranger Things-themed recipes. Below is part two. It’s delicious. I know this, because LipstickNLager is my friend. And friends don’t lie.  I bet you guys thought you’d get rid of my easily, right? Back to…

Eleven Herbs and Spices
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Stranger Things: Part One

Editor’s Note: The lovely and talented @lipsticknlager of Twitter and Instagram fame has graced us with a couple of glorious Stranger Things-themed recipes. Below is the first. Enjoy, mouth-breathers. I am so beyond excited about the return of Stranger Things for season 2 that I LEGIT texted Fontina after inspiration came to me in the…

feenLove Cookies
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feenLove Cookies

Today I’d like to address two groups of people. Those with Twitch accounts and those without. Those with Twitch accounts: are you subscribed to TheDragonFeeney? If not, go do that. (That was easy.) Those without Twitch accounts: Twitch is a site where you can watch people play video games. The best part about this, is…

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