John Hughes. Genius voice of a generation. (Not Kanye.) He made two of the most quintessential holiday movies of our annual repertoire. Planes, Trains and Automobiles for Thanksgiving and Home Alone for Christmas. I watch them every year, and chances are, you do too.
I’ve already put in Planes, Trains and Automobiles this year. And I may watch it again before the holiday is over. But I can’t help but think, how Neal and Del almost didn’t get to have their Thanksgiving dinner. So this Thanksgiving, instead of turkey and stuffing, maybe you should have some sympathy for stranded travelers. Maybe… just maybe… you should make some of this Thanksgiving fast food and take it to the airport and pass it out. Or maybe you should just make it and eat it yourself, because let’s be real, eating is what this holiday is all about.
Better than Mickey D’s, I’ve created the ultimate fast food value meal with all of your favorite components. Enjoy a Mashed Potato Latke-Topped Turkey Burger with Cranberry Mayo on a Stuffing Roll, a side of Green Bean Fries with Mushroom Casserole Dipping Sauce and wash it all down with an Adult Pumpkin Pie Milkshake. It might even be better than the food you’re gonna get at Grandma’s house.
Editor’s Note: Below are the recipes as they appeared on HoboTrashcan.com.
The Six Bucks and My Right Nut Value Meal: Thanksgiving to Eat on a Plane, Train or Automobile
(Makes 6 servings)
(Recipe adapted from Taste of Home)
2 tbsp active dry yeast
1 cup + 2 tbsp warm water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp fresh sage, chopped
2 tbsp fresh thyme, chopped
3-3 1 /2 cups all purpose flour
2 tbsp butter, melted
In a large mixing bowl, dissolve your yeast in your warm water. Stir until murky and gross-looking. Add the oil and the sugar, then let sit for five minutes. Next add the egg, salt, sage and thyme. Finally start adding your flour. Add enough to get a soft, workable dough ball. Then, turn it out onto a floured work surface. Knead the shit out of it for 3-5 minutes. You’ll want the consistency to be the same throughout, and be totally workable.
Divide it into six balls. Shape ‘em with your hands so they look very ball-like. Place on a greased baking sheet and cover with a damp towel. Set on top of your oven and preheat your oven to 425. Let them rise for a half hour, then remove your towel, brush with butter and bake for 10-12 minutes.
1 /4 cup mayonnaise
1 /3 cup whole-berry cranberry sauce
1 /2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
Blend ingredients. Refrigerate until needed.
Mashed Potato Latke-Topped Turkey Burger
1 lb. ground turkey
1 lb. hot turkey sausage
salt and pepper
1 tbsp fresh sage, finely chopped
1 tbsp fresh thyme, finely chopped
1 tbsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped
1 1/2 cup mashed potatoes, prepared or store bought
2 tbsp milk
1/2 cup flour
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
oil, for frying
6 slices fontina cheese
6 homemade stuffing rolls (recipe above)
cranberry mayo (recipe above)
Preheat skillet or grill pan over medium high heat.
In a bowl, mix together turkey burger, turkey sausage, salt and pepper and herbs. Shape into six patties and put little divots in the center so they are thicker around the outside. They should be about 3 /4” thick. Drizzle your pan with olive oil and place the patties on the skillet. Cook for about 5 minutes, then flip, cooking for another 5 minutes on the other side. (Try for 165 internal temp. You’ll want them cooked through since they are turkey, not beef.) Once they are done, top with cheese slices and place a lid over the pan to melt the cheese.
In the meantime, heat 2-3 inches of oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Prepare your mashed potatoes into six patties. Set out three bowls. In the first, place your flour. In the second, beat together your egg and milk. In the third, put your panko breadcrumbs. Bread your patties, flour, then egg, then panko, and set aside. When oil is heated, fry each of your mashed potato patties until golden brown on each side. Remove to a plate lined with paper towels to drain.
Assemble your burgers! Slather a good amount of cranberry mayo on the stuffing buns, and place cheesed-up burger and latke on top. Close it up and eat!!
Green Bean Fries with Mushroom Casserole Dipping Sauce
(Recipe adapted from Just A Pinch)
1 lb. fresh green beans, snapped
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cup flour, divided
1/4 cup milk
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 cup french fried onions, crushed
oil for frying
2 tbsp olive oil
1 cup mushrooms, diced
salt and pepper
1/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup mayonnaise
additional french fried onions for garnish
In a small saucepan, preheated over medium heat, drizzle olive oil. Drop in mushrooms and salt and pepper them. Cook for 6-8 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.
In a bowl, blend together sour cream and mayonnaise. Stir in mushrooms. Salt and pepper to taste. Put into condiment cups and garnish with french fried onions. Refrigerate until ready to use.
Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, bring chicken broth to a boil. Drop green beans in and cook for about 5 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon to a bowl of ice water.
Set up your breading station. A bowl with 1 cup flour, a bowl with 1 /2 cup flour, a bowl with milk and eggs (beaten) and a bowl with breadcrumbs and fried onions.
Remove beans from ice bath and shake dry. In sections, dredge them in flour, then individually dip them in egg mixture followed by breadcrumbs. Place in one layer on a cookie sheet.
In a saucepan, with 3 inches of oil heated over medium heat, cook beans in batches. Leave in oil until the breading is lightly browned, about 4-5 minutes. Remove to paper towels and then repeat until all of the green bean fries are cooked.
Serve with mushroom dipping sauce.
Adult Pumpkin Pie Milkshake
6 cups vanilla ice cream
1 1/2 cups pumpkin pie filling
1 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 cups pumpkin cream liqueur
graham crackers, crumbled
pumpkin pie spice, for garnish
In a blender, mix (in two batches) ice cream, pumpkin pie filling, milk and liqueur. Divide into glasses and top with whipped cream, graham crackers and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice. Shove a straw in them and suck until your brain hurts.