Sometimes, I relate to Roger Smith and his constant need to be someone else, be absolutely crazy and mostly to wear lots and lots of wigs. Sometimes, I relate to Hailey Smith when I’m being annoyingly leftist and getting in people’s faces about their opinions (knowing full well I’m not able to change their minds)….
I tend to be very judgey and annoying. Ask anyone. One of the things I’m judgey about is media. Oh, does that movie have Nicholas Cage in it? I am not wasting my time. Oh, that show is on Fox? It’ll get cancelled before it has a chance. Oh, that song came out within the…
You may ask yourself why a 30-year-old woman would have any interest in a 75-year-old man. If not for money … if not for fame … if not for some weird betrothal … then why? As a long-time fan of older men, I have plenty of reasons lined up. With Gene Wilder, it’s his humor,…
Aqua Teen Hunger Force has a strange place in my life. Much like flatulence, my reaction to it is dependent on my mood. If I’m in a bad mood, I don’t find it funny but rather an annoying nuisance on the world. If I’m in a good mood, it’s the funniest fucking thing that could…
I think everyone my age has a story about when they watched Jurassic Park. It came out in 1993. That means I was approximately nine years old when I watched it. My mom took me and my brother to the drive-in. (That makes me seem even older.) A nine-year-old watching a movie about giant dinosaurs…
Ingredient-specific beers get me going. Especially when the brewers take such care in selecting their ingredients. When I tried Bison Beer’s Organic Honey Basil Ale, I knew I had to cook with it. I’ve been hammering out the recipe for a couple months, but I have it fine-tuned for you guys. Crispy salted flatbread with…
For years now you have been deceived. You’ve spent your whole life without the proper understanding of something that is supposed to be classic and perfect. I’m here to bring you the truth. BLT does not stand for Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato. BLT stands for Bacon, Legs and Tomato. It’s just been sitting there waiting…
For breakfast, scrambles are the tits. It’s simple and fucking delicious every time. I was throwing shit together the other day and it turned out so well that I had to write it down. This isn’t one of my egg white healthy shits. It’s got potatoes and sausage and cheese and it’s exactly what you’re…
Having just moved to Ohio, I have very few friends in the area. I was pumped when this wonderful, charming girl (who I kinda know) wanted to hang out. Friend date! I offered to cook for her. She said she liked Mexican food and cheese and she tries to steer clear of gluten. I love…
I’ve always thought that life was a cruel bitch for making New Years resolutions come around just when it’s getting bitter cold out. All you want to do is hunker down inside and eat something hearty and warm but you’re bombarded with all of this guilt to better yourself. Let me tell ya: as I…