Game of Thrones: Who Will Serve the Realm? (Part I)

The final half of the final season of Game of Thrones is upon us and we’re all wondering the same thing: Who wins the game?

We have six episodes left EVER and I have six guesses as to who will sit on the iron throne. Each week, I’m going to do a theme recipe for each of my guesses. Since I’ve planned these out in advance, it’s entirely possible that all six of these guesses will die in the first episode. I hope that’s not the case, but bearing that in mind, I’ll be ordering my posts by most likely to die to least likely to die. Sadly.

If you guys want to see me make these recipes live, tune into I’ll be cooking on Saturday and posting the recipes on Sunday.

Anyway, let’s dig in.


Couple of the Year (Art by: Sandra Winther)

My first post is for Tormund Giantsbane and Brienne of Tarth. I think it’s safe to say that they have no claim to the throne… but how great would it be if these two finally hooked up and joined the realm together: southerners and wildlings. They’d make great big babies and their rule would be just as strong as they are. I also like the idea of a woman ruling, not by force or lack of male options, but because she’s a badass. And let’s face it, Brienne is a badass.

Now, you might be thinking… how is Tormund going to rise to power if he’s dead? Well. That’s why this is the FIRST post. And we don’t know he’s dead. Last we saw, the ice dragon took down the wall while he was on it. But we didn’t actually seem him die. So, my Tormund-loving heart is holding out hope.

For the recipe, we’re making: Tall & Fluffy Biscuits with Wildling Mushroom Gravy. Think of it as sausage gravy & biscuits, but with mushrooms. And damn, it’s good.

Tall and Fluffy Biscuits with Wildling Mushroom Gravy
2 cups self-rising flour
1/4 cup unsalted butter, cold, cut into small chunks
3/4 cup buttermilk

2 tbsp butter
1/2 onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1lb baby bella mushrooms, sliced
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1/4 cup flour
3/4 cup red wine
1 1/4 cup beef broth (vegetable if you want this to be a vegetarian dish)
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp fresh thyme
1 tbsp fennel seeds
1 tbsp dried sage
2 tbsp heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat your oven to 500°F.

In a large bowl, begin blending the 2 cups of flour and 1/4 cup butter chunkers together with a pastry cutter. You’ll see the butter start to incorporate. Go a few minutes, then pour in the buttermilk. Stir together and then turn out onto a floured surface. Knead together until you get a nice, structured dough ball. Flour your rolling pin and roll out dough, about an inch thick. Dip a circle shaped biscuit cutter in flour (or you know, use whatever shape you want, idgaf) and cut your damn biscuits. Place them on a greased cookie sheet and bake for 7-9 minutes. Keep an eye on them.

While those guys are in the oven, start your gravy. Melt your butter over medium heat and add in your onion and garlic. Stir until the onions are soft and starting to brown, about 5 minutes. At that point, add in your shrooms. Let them cook down, about 10 minutes. They’ll release moisture and that will start to evaporate. Once you’re at that point, it’s time to make your roux. Melt butter and then stir in flour. Once you have this sticky, shroomy mess, slowly stir in your wine and beef broth. It’ll cool your shit down immediately. As it simmers, it’ll start to thicken. Add in your vinegar, thyme, fennel and sage. It’s gonna smell real freaking good at this point. Once you have it at your desired thickness, stir in the cream (to make it creamy, duh) and salt and pepper to taste.

Spoon gravy over the biscuits and serve. If you need extra salt, just think about Tormund dying and your tears will help season the dish.

Fontina has an Ohio heart and Philly spunk. She loves giving you recipes for hearty food, pop-culture puns and a hell of a lot of craft beer. You can find her in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or marathoning episodes of Shin Chan or Bob's Burgers online.

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