Doctor Capaldi

Doctor Who: This World Is Protected

Is this world important? 

Important? What’s that mean, important? Six billion people live here, is that important?

Yes, Doctor. This world IS important. It’s ours. For years now, I’ve been creating recipes honoring the doctor. This year, I decided to open it up to the rest of the 6 billion people on this planet. I have this bank of recipes… how would you honor the Doctor using them?

The answers came in… and they were amazing. Thrilling. I was so proud of everyone that participated and I can’t thank you all enough.

My favorite though, was a recipe from Noah. This amazing Whovian kid who worked with his mom to develop a recipe based on Listen… last season’s epic episode.

Need a refresh? There’s a creature who has evolutionarily perfected the skill of hiding. (My goal in life.) Basically, the Doctor has this idea that everyone has had the same dream… but it isn’t a dream. The Doctor takes Clara back to… what is supposed to be the time of her childhood… but is actually Danny Pink’s childhood. There they meet Rupert (Danny), a child who is is afraid of… something? Turns out, that feeling you get in the middle of the night, that feeling you have that you’re not alone… it’s all ‘true’. This master of hiding is there with you. But all you have to do is not look…

It’s an amazing episode that goes deeper and deeper into the base storyline. Best of the season, actually. It encompasses all of my favorite moments when I think back on the season… and I don’t even remember they are all from the same episode.

Brilliant-Noah took my recipe “Spam in a Snuggie” and regenerated it into “The Mystery (Meat) Under Rupert’s Blanket”. It’s a lovely adaptation that uses yellow cheddar to reflect the appearance of Gallifrey and claims that cayenne shall be Clara Cayenne as it is spicy and snarky and leaves you wanting more.

Perfect and wonderful and I want to share it all with you. I’ve remade it with Noah’s suggestions and rephotographed it with a nod to the Doctor.

Basically, run. Run to the kitchen and make the Doctor’s recipe. Then watch the new season of Doctor Who.

Also, this is out of nowhere… but Danny Pink has amazing eyes.

The Mystery Meat Under Rupert's Blanket

The Mystery Meat Under Rupert’s Blanket

The Mystery (Meat) Under Rupert’s Blanket

for mac and cheese, hereby known as “The Grain of Gallifrey”
½ lb orecchiette
2 tbsp butter
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp flour
¼ cup milk
½ cup brown ale
1 tbsp whole grain mustard
¼ cup white cheddar, shredded
¼ cup fontina, shredded
ADDITION: 1/8 cup yellow cheddar, shredded, to give cheese the appearance of Gallifrey’s surface

for spam, hereby known as the “Sonic Screwdriver” of the meat industry for its versatility and evolution over the years
1 can Spam
3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp honey
1 tbsp brown ale
1 tbsp olive oil
⅛ tsp cayenne, hereby known as “Clara cayenne” for its spicy, snarky personality that leaves us wanting more

for dough, hereby known as “Rupert’s Blanket”
2 sheets phyllo dough
1 egg, beaten with 1 tbsp water and the fear of the unknown creature under the covers
½ cup shredded parmesan cheese
cooking spray

for dipping sauce, hereby known as “The Closing Kiss”
½ cup ketchup
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 tsp honey
¼ tsp Clara cayenne

To make the balsamic ketchup: whisk together ketchup, balsamic vinegar, honey and cayenne pepper. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Bring a large pot of water to boil. Boil pasta. Drain. Set aside.

In a saucepan, melt 2 tbsp butter. Add in minced garlic and cook, stirring, over medium heat for about 2 minutes. Garlic will start to get a light brown and smell fucking awesome. At this point, whisk in flour. Once it’s fully incorporated and this thick porridgey looking mass… whisk in milk, brown ale and mustard. Cook over medium-low heat for about five minutes. The mixture will become thick and sauce-like. At that point, begin stirring in the cheese, small amounts at a time. Toss in the cooked pasta.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together worcestershire sauce, garlic, honey, brown ale, olive oil and cayenne pepper. Remove Spam from can (no easy feat) and slice, (aim for nine slices) then slice each slice in half. (You’ll be left with little squares.)

Heat skillet (I prefer the iron variety) over medium high heat. Spray with cooking spray. Place Spam squares into heated skillet. Brush on some of the sauce you just prepared. Cook for 3-4 minutes. Turn. Sauce. Repeat one more time on each side. When you remove the spam it should be crispy and dark brown.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray two baking sheets with cooking spray.

Dust your counter or work surface lightly with flour. Roll out puff pastry. Using a pizza cutter, cut the dough into thirds vertically, then horizontally, leaving you with nine pieces.

Take a square of pastry and stretch out to make it a little bigger. Set in front of you so it is a diamond. On the lower half, place a piece of Spam, followed by a spoonful of macaroni and cheese. Drizzle a little of the leftover Spam sauce over the pasta. Fold the top corner down and seal the edges. Now, fold all three corners under the blob of goodness. Place, ugly-side-down, on a prepared baking sheet. Repeat.

Once all of the Snuggies have been prepared, brush egg mixture onto the tops of the dough and sprinkle with parmesan cheese.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown.

Serve ‘em up with the The Closing Kiss, get snuggly and watch some Doctor Who.

Fontina has an Ohio heart and Philly spunk. She loves giving you recipes for hearty food, pop-culture puns and a hell of a lot of craft beer. You can find her in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or marathoning episodes of Shin Chan or Bob's Burgers online.

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