A Feast for the Doctor

This column originally ran on HoboTrashcan.com.

About half a year ago, I didn’t even know “Who” wasn’t The Doctor’s last name.

Once I started watching the show, it took me under two months to make my way through all of the modern episodes. (Time to start the old ones!) I knew once I got going that I wanted to catch up in time to watch the 50th anniversary special.

That time is upon us … and trust me, this is a fixed point in time, my friends.

I barely feel worthy to celebrate with you all, even having watched what I’ve watched, dressing up as Amy Pond for Halloween (and a couple of times since then for fun) and taking to wearing an Etsy TARDIS key as a necklace. My fandom is still just a drop in the bucket compared to most of you. I bow to you, superfans.

But here we are, on the cusp of “The Day of the Doctor” (and on the cusp of seeing my love, David Tennant, again). I wasn’t even scheduled to write a recipe this week, but I’ll be damned if I’m missing out on this opportunity. If you wonderful readers want Doctor Who-themed recipes, then I’m certainly not going to deny you.

I had a ridiculously large list of ideas, but I narrowed it down. If I had a time machine and a sonic screwdrivered ATM, I’d have made them all. Alas, I do not. Do not fret though, I picked all of the best ones and it’s still excessive and delicious. And feel free to eat an excessive amount as well … I know this great pill that makes the fat just walk away.

As always. I hope you find this column to be as Dalek-table as I did. (Har-har.)

Allons-y!

Travel Through Thyme and Spice

Travel Through Thyme and Spice with Sky Fish Baked in Psychic Parchment Paper

(Recipe adapted from Ina Garten)
ingredients
2-8 oz fillets of boneless fish (snapper or cod)
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 large stems of fresh thyme
2 large sprigs of rosemary
1 egg

Preheat oven to 400°.

Place fish on 2 pieces of parchment paper.

Combine salt, pepper, garlic and cayenne in a dish. Sprinkle evenly over fillets. Drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil. Place rosemary and thyme sprig on top of the fish.

Beat the egg with a tablespoon of water. Brush the egg wash around the edge of the parchment and fold it in half. Carefully fold the edge of the parchment paper under and around the fish to make a little TARDIS around it. Place it on a cookie sheet and bake for 12 minutes until cooked through.

Kick back with a sonic screwdriver and let the adipose just walk away

Doctor Whoodles (Bow Tie Pasta Salad with Cool Ranch)
ingredients
1 lb farfalle, cooked al dente, drained and rinsed with cold water
1 red bell pepper, diced (feel free to dice at an angle so they resemble small fezzes)
1/2 lb bacon, cooked and crumbled
2 cups ranch dressing (recipe below OR store-bought)
1/2 cup shredded parmesan cheese

Toss ingredients together. Refrigerate an hour or so before serving.

Swiss CHARDIS (Cooking Hot and Ridiculous Deliciousness in Space)
(Recipe adapted from allrecipes.com)
ingredients
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp garlic, minced
1 shallot, diced
1 bunch of Swiss Chard, stems and ribs cut out and discarded, leaves chopped
1/2 cup white wine
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 /4 cup [900-year] aged gouda cheese, shredded
salt, to taste

Melt butter and oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Stir in garlic and shallot. Cook for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Add in chard. Cook until just wilted. (About five minutes.) Add in wine and cook another 5 minutes or so. Toss with lemon juice and parm, season with salt.

Sonic Screwdriver
ingredients
2 cups orange juice
1 /4 cup vodka
2 tbsp vanilla
2 cups ice

Put orange juice, vodka, vanilla and ice in a blender. Blend until smooth.

Cool Ranch
ingredients
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup greek yogurt
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
juice of 1 lemon
2 tbsp each of chopped fresh dill, parsley and chives
1 tbsp garlic, minced
generous salt and pepper, to taste

Whisk all ingredients together. Refrigerate.