The world is a cruel and dark place. The most beloved show of all time (that’s a claim I’m making without basis but I feel to be true) is beginning its last season. Game of Thrones. Was that not clear? Even worse, it’s being split up over the next two years. If that’s not George R. R. Martin-style torture, I don’t know what is. Well I do know what is… and it involves a lot more blood and cannibalism… but this is pretty bad too.
I think we’re all curious what’s going to happen, especially now that the show has surpassed the books. It’s no longer in GRRM’s hands. Yeah, I know he shared the outcomes with them, but it just doesn’t FEEL like his anymore.
But knowing it will be his end game, I have a few theories in mind and they aren’t all that positive. I have created three recipes, one for each of my ideas on how the series will end. I know that when all is said and done, I’ll have been ridiculously wrong, but it’s fun to speculate. Today’s recipe is dark… but not aesthetically. I’ll be posting the next two theories over the next two days. Stay tuned and feel free to chime in with your own speculations!
Winter is here. The white walkers and the wights are going to topple the wall and head south, bringing cold and death to all of Westeros. There will be a huge struggle, many battles and everyone will day and become reanimated, further increasing the forces of the white walkers. The remaining children will join in the fight. Everyone will die. The petty bickering of lords and ladies over power will be for naught and all will fall to the cold that never ends. The entire story will be a glorious “fuck you, focus on what matters you assholes.” Maybe it’ll even help send a message to our president about global warming (but it won’t).
For this theory, I have made the Endless White Cheesecake. It’s a coconut and white chocolate cheesecake topped with white cake crumbs and you’ll want to eat the whole thing. Not just because it’s delicious, but some extra meat on your bones will be a good idea for what is coming.
Endless White Cheesecake
adapted from Taste of Home
6 oz coconut rolls with black sesame seeds, ground
1 ½ cups graham crackers, ground
6 tbsp butter, melted
5 8-oz packages cream cheese (full fat), room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 cup white chocolate chips (plus more for drizzle)
¾ cup canned coconut milk
3 teaspoons coconut emulsion
4 large eggs
¾ cup sweetened coconut flakes, divided
1 cup white cake crumbs (I baked a cake and crumbled it)
Preheat oven to 325°F. Spray a springform pan with cooking spray and wrap the outside with two layers of aluminum foil. Set in a baking sheet with enough of an edge to hold water.
Pour melted butter over the crumbs and mix together. Press into the bottom of the springform pan. It’s best to use a flat-bottomed glass or something heavy to press it together.
In a mixing bowl, blend together cream cheese and sugar. Add in coconut milk, chocolate chips, and coconut emulsion. Next, beat in the eggs. Fold in ½ cup of coconut into the mixture and pour into the crust.
Place the pans into the oven and pour 1” of hot water into the baking sheet. Bake for 60-70 minutes or until center is set. Remove from water bath and let cool on a wire rack for ten minutes. Loosen cheesecake from the pan wiht a knife and remove the foil. Continue cooling for an hour. Remove from pan.
Sprinkle cake crumbs and remaining coconut over top. Melt down some white chocolate chips and drizzle. Serve. Refrigerate leftovers.