GrandPooBear Cupcakes

GrandPOOCakes

#SGDQ2017–For those of you who don’t know… Games Done Quick is the semi-annual video game speedrunning charity. This week, speedrunners from all over are playing to raise money for Doctors Without Borders. It’s an immensely cool and critical source of funding for a cause that does so much for so many people. So after you’re done reading this article, PLEASE go to their website, watch the games and donate some cash money.

There are tons of events I’m excited for this week. Some of them are just games that I’m a huge fan of and some of them are speedrunners that I follow or subscribe to on Twitch and I’m eager to see them do well. The one I’m MOST excited for, overlaps.

Poo Stencils

Download your printable GrandPooCakes stencils below!

Friday night, around 5:30pm, there’s going to be a Super Mario Series (warpless) relay race. I KNOW you all grew up with Mario. Which game is your favorite might be a tossup, sure. But mine was always and will always be Super Mario Bros. 3. It’s the one I sunk the most time into as a kid. (World probably came second.) Not to mention… Tanooki Mario was a total game changer for me. This is the game that really fostered my love for gaming. It snowballed from here and thank god it did.

The other aspect of this race is, my absolute favorite speedrunner is playing Mario 3. GrandPOObear, who has been practicing relentlessly on his Twitch channel for weeks, will be handling the Super Mario Bros 3 portion of the relay for his team. Omg, you guys. Do you subscribe to Poo? Why the hell not? Do that here.

Let me tell you a story.

I’ve been stressed out lately. You may have noticed that I’ve been posting fewer recipes. It’s because I’m stressed. And depressed. And very overwhelmed. I don’t need to get into it all, we’ve all been there, I’m just there now.

So, today, I decided to clean out my basement. I moved into my father-in-law’s house a few years back after he passed away and his stuff has been downstairs ever since. It’s a very large undertaking and not at all what you should do when you aren’t in a good headspace. I went to pull the car out of the garage (so I could use the garage for boxes and boxes and boxes) and I hit a giant rock that has been in my yard for the three years I’ve lived here. It tore the wheel well off of my car and made the most terrible sound. I called my husband, who was just in the house, bawling my eyes out. I had just snapped. It was too much for me to handle in that moment. He came out, freed me from the car where I was trapped by a bunch of plastic and a rock and sent me inside while he sledgehammered the rock into oblivion. I curled up on the couch to cry some more, I was in full-on self pity mode. I wasn’t hurt, the car will be cheap to fix, but I couldn’t be reasoned with.

Dr. Turner (@adelign) had Twitch playing on the Chromecast. We often do this, because we both like a lot of the same people. Poo must have started streaming while I was running around this morning. I’m literally like a baby, crying in my playpen, then I see something shiny and I just stop. Within minutes, his humor and smile perked me right up and salvaged my day.

Now, to be completely fair, I think it’s partially his magnetic personality, partially my lunacy. But I don’t think you can discount his personality just because of my lunacy. He’s grinding away for this event, not even as carefree as usual, and he still manages this shit.

So SGDQ starts streaming their opener. I have him on one screen and them on another. They mention his team but they don’t mention him, which seemed off-kilter to me. He’s definitely the star of the show to MANY of us and I wanted to show my appreciation. Sure, I’ll donate when he plays, that’s a given. But that’s for the charity. This post, while it does promote the charity (go donate!) is a Poo-centric post. For Poo and for all the others out there doing what you do and making people happy. We appreciate your content, guys and gals. Thank you.

Below are downloadable templates and a recipe for you to make your very own GrandPOObear and Hammer Mario-themed cupcakes. Make them, photograph them, eat them… but don’t let it distract you from enjoying this summer’s Games Done Quick and giving them all of your money.

And thank, Poo, for pulling me out of my funk today [Sunday]. And good luck with the relay, you got this! No hands!

PooCakes

GrandPooCakes
download template here
12 prepared cupcakes, any flavor
8 oz. mini marshmallows (4 cups, not packed)
4 cups powdered sugar (plus more for dusting)
2 tbsp water
cooking spray, 
Crisco or rubber gloves
food coloring; lots of food coloring
frosting, for assembly

First, get prepared. Dust your work area with powdered sugar and get your tools out.

Place your marshmallows and water in a large microwave-safe bowl that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Microwave on high for about a minute until the marshmallows puff up. Stir them with a rubber spatula so that they are smooth. If it isn’t smooth, go ahead and microwave it for another 30 seconds or so until you get it to be.

Add in your powdered sugar and stir with the spatula. Stir ’til ya can’t stir no more, then scrape the whole thing out onto your work surface. (A lot of the sugar will still not be incorporated.)

Dust your hands with powdered sugar and knead it like bread. Work it until it is smooth and not sticky. You may add a little more powdered sugar, but be careful to not add too much or it will become too stiff.

Once you got a smooth-ass ball of fondant, divide it into sections so you can dye it the colors you need.

Pick your first color to work on. Flatten the fondant into a round disc with your rolling pin. Put on gloves, or rub crisco on your hands so they don’t get as-dyed. Add in your food coloring in the middle of the fondant. Fold it in half so they dye is enclosed. Begin to knead the ball, like you did before, until the color is incorporated.

Repeat for each color. White is cool. I left some extra white in case I screwed up anything, I could color it and continue on.

For each color, roll out fondant with your rolling pin again. Using your template, cut out each piece from it’s appropriate color. Set aside on a baking sheet to use on your cupcakes. Cover and store in a cool place until ready to use.

Roll stuff out to start cutting. Pretty thin. Probably thinner than you think. Place your stencil on the fondant and start cutting around it with a clean knife. A little note, if you rub a little Crisco on your knife it cuts a lot easier. After you’ve cut it out, mushing the rough edges in a little with the flat side of the knife makes to smooth it out to a nice refined finish.

Assemble by putting a tiny bit of frosting between fondant layers.

Eat your PooCakes.

Notes
-While there is a template for everything, some things are easier to freehand.
-The templates are created to the size of a standard cupcake. For best results, measure your cupcake and size your output accordingly.
-Spraying your rolling pin with cooking spray and wiping off the excess may save your life.
-The best knife to use is an Xacto knife. However, the blades come oiled and I’m not confident on the food-safeness of them. Use at your own risk.


About

Fontina has an Ohio heart and Philly spunk. She loves giving you recipes for hearty food, pop-culture puns and a hell of a lot of craft beer. You can find her in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or marathoning episodes of Shin Chan or Bob's Burgers online.


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